Rome Wasn't Built With Likes

I've been made to think that my worthiness as a creator, as a thinker, as someone who “influences” comes with the sheer number of eyes and ears I'm able to hold onto. I'm starting to think differently, and much of that I credit to Seth Godin (and the Bible). 

In our country, bigger is sexier. Bigger commands more attention, more hype, more glamour. But it commands all of those surface-level qualities in exchange for focus. Depth. Specificity. Complexity. Nuance. 

Would you rather have a fan base of 150 people or a tribe of 20? 150 people who sort of know you (and maybe 150 wallets) vs. 20 people who truly understand and support you (and definitely 20 wallets). Of course, the wallets matter. But I'm inclined to think that relationships matter more. Community. People who understand you because you understand them. 

And here's the icing: when we are truly moved, we feel compelled to share. Your 20 will inevitably find more people to bring to the family. Now that's 40 real relationships. That 150 is still kind of so-so, and they might even rise to 300, but now you have 300 so-so relationships. How many so-so’s can a person handle? We all know deep down that the more so-so relationships we gather, the less connected and understood we feel. This is the gargantuan elephant in the room. The direct result of obsessing over surface-level social media metrics that tell us nothing about the actual quality of a person’s thoughts or character. 

For those of us who actually want to build something--a brand, a business, an audience--do we shoot for the numbers first and then double down on real connection, or do we spend an uncanny amount of time bonding with the people that have already given us their attention? 

Do culturally-defined success, influence, and bread ($) really bring joy? Or do we start with what makes us feel alive and allow the rest of those things to come as they may? 

Which version of life is worth living?
 

Cover Photo by Daria Nepriakhina on Unsplash